Man Falls Through Roof
by K. Chadd
Staff Writer
Gerry Attrick had just sat down and was enjoying the local news when someone unexpected dropped in on him.
At 6:40pm, Attrick was sitting down watching the television when a man fell through his ceiling and landed on the couch.
"I heard this popping sound and then wham this fellow came crashing through the roof," said Attrick.
Attrick
describes the man as late 20's or early 30's, dressed in tattered jeans
and a bright red t-shirt with yellow target symbol on it.
The man got up, shook his head and glanced at Attrick and said he was sorry, then he bolted out the back door.
"It
was like it was from some kind of movie," said Attrick. "The man stood
up and dusted himself off and asked where he was and then apologized for
the disruption."
Attrick said the fellow gave him a ton of money before he left.
A
police spokesman said that they are looking into the matter and all flights
from the airport reported nothing unusual or no missing passengers.
20130702
Rave On
"Well, isn't this cozy," Max said, dusting some dirt off his shirt.
They were in a huge underground chamber filled with outdated army
vehicles. As if someone was preparing for the big one and to their
disappointment it never came.
"All we need is a DJ and this could be the perfect place for a rave," Suki interjected. She held a pistol with both hands; she had seen some cop shows and it always showed them carrying a gun this way.
"Maybe," Max said. He glanced around and he could imagine a rave going on here. He could see Maggie cutting up the dance floor, her long red hair flowing like a sentient being dancing with the music. "Yeah."
"All we need is a DJ and this could be the perfect place for a rave," Suki interjected. She held a pistol with both hands; she had seen some cop shows and it always showed them carrying a gun this way.
"Maybe," Max said. He glanced around and he could imagine a rave going on here. He could see Maggie cutting up the dance floor, her long red hair flowing like a sentient being dancing with the music. "Yeah."
20130701
Cube
Max
sipped from a water bottle while waiting in a lounge room. He wiped
sweat off his brow with the towel draped over his shoulder. He was
tired and very sore and he didn't think he could press on.
So
this what it feels like to be past your prime.
"Man,
that was intense," Goner said as he strolled over. His
t-shirt was soaked through and he was starting to reek from sweat.
"Best yet, I'd say."
"Well,
like wine one improves with age," Maggie said. She was sitting
on the edge of a sofa teasing her hair.
"Or
turns into vinegar," Frank added after taking a long pull from a
beer.
"You
always have to see the negative in everything, don't you Frank,"
Goner said to him, shaking his head. "That's one
thing that I didn't miss."
"You
know, I never thought I'd be back here today with you guys,"
Frank said. He was sitting on a director's chair, with a bucket of
beer on ice beside him. "I think I'm getting too old for this
kind of shit. But when an opportunity like this comes up, nostalgia
kicks in."
"You'll
never get old in my books," Angst said as she emerged from the bathroom. She was having trouble doing up the zipper on the back of her
mini-dress. She turned her back to Max, who reached over and zipped
her up.
"Didn't
you wear that in Vegas?" Aqua chided Angst. "Looks like the
same one."
Aqua
received only the finger from Angst.
"Getting
bitchy in our old age, eh?" Aqua shot back at her. Then fled the
scene like a burglar from the cops.
The
door to the room opened up and Morganfokker strolled in. "I
think you guys better get back out there. It's going to get wild if
you don't."
Max
nodded and he turned to the rest and said, "Let's rock."
Goner
ripped off his t-shirt and grabbed his drumsticks off the stand.
"What's the encore going to be?"
Flightmare
Danny Leung was having a very rough day. Not only had he missed his
first flight, due to a mix up at the ticket counter, he had just received
word that the contact he was supposed to meet with was found hanging from
a hook in a meat locker in an L.A supermarket. Some people would have
called it karma; he just thought it was shitty luck.
It looked like he had made the trip to America for nothing. He balled up his fist a little but maintained his cool. He was on an airline, after all. His superior had told him to take a day or two to sight-see before coming home.
"Smoke?" the man beside him offered. "Looks like you could use one."
Danny looked at what he presumed was an American, spiky hair, a pure black t-shirt that had a top view picture of a turntable on it. He reluctantly reached for a smoke from the package of sticks.
The stranger offered his lit cigarette as a lighter. Danny lit the cigarette and felt the nicotine do its work.
"I thought these were banned?" Danny asked after taking a puff.
The stranger chuckled. "That they are, my friend. But don't tell the flight attendant that."
The fellow had an air of confidence about him, something sure and cocky but in a friendly sort of way. Danny took another puff. He noticed the fellow looking at his watch.
"You got someone waiting for you at the airport?" he asked the stranger.
"Not exactly," the man said. "Just that in two minutes from now the shit is going to hit the fan."
"How so?" Danny asked, wondering if this fellow was pulling his leg or not.
"See that stewardess there?" The fellow pointed at the blonde down the aisle and said matter-of-factly, "She's about to pull out a uzi from the cart and head to the cockpit. Where she's planning on taking control of the plane. And we're here to make sure that she doesn't."
20130630
Seconds
tick
Max glanced up at the second hand on the clock. Trying to will the time to go back instead of inching forward. Time was of the essence here.
tock
Maggie's hand staunched the blood flow from Frank's wound. He had been hit good and now seconds counted.
tick
Max had counted four of them. All positioned in various places to keep sniping at them. His brain was working in high gear and he was trying to figure out a good survival plan.
tock
"Any sign of Trump yet?" Maggie asked. "If he doesn't get here Frank is good as dead."
tick
"I see that little bastard's tail," Max said; he was using the reflection of a shattered mirror to see where everyone was. He was hoping that those snipers left the cat alone, because after all, a cat was just a cat.
tock
Frank's eyes opened and he coughed. Spitting up some blood. Maggie leaned forward with a damp cloth.
"You guys should have left me," Frank said. "I'm as good as dead."
tick
Maggie slapped Frank across the cheek, and then added, "Once you're feeling much better I am going to kick the shit out of you. You know we never leave a friend behind."
Max glanced up at the second hand on the clock. Trying to will the time to go back instead of inching forward. Time was of the essence here.
tock
Maggie's hand staunched the blood flow from Frank's wound. He had been hit good and now seconds counted.
tick
Max had counted four of them. All positioned in various places to keep sniping at them. His brain was working in high gear and he was trying to figure out a good survival plan.
tock
"Any sign of Trump yet?" Maggie asked. "If he doesn't get here Frank is good as dead."
tick
"I see that little bastard's tail," Max said; he was using the reflection of a shattered mirror to see where everyone was. He was hoping that those snipers left the cat alone, because after all, a cat was just a cat.
tock
Frank's eyes opened and he coughed. Spitting up some blood. Maggie leaned forward with a damp cloth.
"You guys should have left me," Frank said. "I'm as good as dead."
tick
Maggie slapped Frank across the cheek, and then added, "Once you're feeling much better I am going to kick the shit out of you. You know we never leave a friend behind."
Faux City Police Reports
Police reports
By Chronicle Staff
Police reports for Monday included the following:
* A business owner on Highwater Street went to his store to find it vandalized. The suspects did not take any money or items, but the four mannequins in the front window had bullet holes riddling their bodies.
* A woman was seen assaulting four men. She left the scene before police arrived. All four men are expected to recover in the hospital.
* A man living in an apartment on North Grand Avenue was shot.
* A man left a restaurant on Daniels Street without paying for his meal.
* A man stole beer from a corner store. He was caught and cited for theft.
* A business owner told police a woman kicked over a display.
* Two siblings got into an argument. The older child kicked the younger child in the face.
* Three juveniles were throwing rocks from the top of a building on Main Street. Rocks hit two cars. One of the juveniles was cited.
* A man told police the NSA had planted devices in his head and car to frame him for a crime. He told police that a talking cat threatened him. The man was taken to the hospital for observation.
* There were 97 calls for service.
By Chronicle Staff
Police reports for Monday included the following:
* A business owner on Highwater Street went to his store to find it vandalized. The suspects did not take any money or items, but the four mannequins in the front window had bullet holes riddling their bodies.
* A woman was seen assaulting four men. She left the scene before police arrived. All four men are expected to recover in the hospital.
* A man living in an apartment on North Grand Avenue was shot.
* A man left a restaurant on Daniels Street without paying for his meal.
* A man stole beer from a corner store. He was caught and cited for theft.
* A business owner told police a woman kicked over a display.
* Two siblings got into an argument. The older child kicked the younger child in the face.
* Three juveniles were throwing rocks from the top of a building on Main Street. Rocks hit two cars. One of the juveniles was cited.
* A man told police the NSA had planted devices in his head and car to frame him for a crime. He told police that a talking cat threatened him. The man was taken to the hospital for observation.
* There were 97 calls for service.
Awkward as an Eclipse
He had been shot at, thrown from a window of a skyscraper, hit by a
train, tumbled down a mountain while battling a cyborg, drugged up and
near death, but all of these minor incidents didn't prepare him for the
biggest threat of all.
"Here Max, hold her while I get her bottle," Trish said as she handed him the baby.
Max looked at the child with appalled horror and surprise, holding it at arms' length. For some reason it was a foreign sight, like a solar eclipse to feudal Japan society.
"She won't bite," Trish comforted Max. Before Max could protest and hand the baby back to Trish, she got up and headed to get the baby bag out of the stroller, which was just outside.
Mags was coming back with a couple of coffees in her hands and she let out a slight chuckle to see THE Max Cube at a loss.
"Here Max, hold her while I get her bottle," Trish said as she handed him the baby.
Max looked at the child with appalled horror and surprise, holding it at arms' length. For some reason it was a foreign sight, like a solar eclipse to feudal Japan society.
"She won't bite," Trish comforted Max. Before Max could protest and hand the baby back to Trish, she got up and headed to get the baby bag out of the stroller, which was just outside.
Mags was coming back with a couple of coffees in her hands and she let out a slight chuckle to see THE Max Cube at a loss.
20130629
Secret Society Part Last
Miranda
pirouetted in the spacious, unfurnished living room, pale walls and
carpet. Her hair gathered at the base of her neck, a pretty, white
summer-dress like gossamer. Open-concept, steps leading up to the
kitchen and the corridor leading to the bedrooms. The north wall was
glass, overlooking the lush green crowd of conifers that sloped down
and away into the ravine. A New Modern villa, reminiscent of
Frank Lloyd Wright without being derivative.
"It's
gorgeous," Miranda says. Something about it felt fresh.
"You're
gorgeous," Genevieve replied from the landing near the front
door where she was inputting the new security codes through a small,
imbedded panel. Gen was in black jeans and a navy tank-top.
Miranda
smiled shyly, playfully. "You're a sweetheart, Gen. I'm not the
girl for you, though."
20130628
Faux News of the Moment
WINTERGLEN'S CENTURY CLUB
By Nelson Tad
Winterglen Weekly Staff Writer
WINTERGLEN (AP) - Fred Strictlan still drives his car to and fro, and goes out every Saturday evening for a pint or two down at the local pub.
Not bad for a 99-year-old.
Winterglen's oldest resident turns 100 on Nov 10 and will celebrate at three parties - one given by his family, one given by neighbours and another at Century Tavern, the pub he frequents.
He says that he also eats right and has a pint a day, as well as a cigar (or two).
Strictlan drives his own car. He bought his first car for $80. Right now he's lucky if he can fill a gas tank for that price.
As for reaching the 100 mark, Strictlan says it isn't such a novelty.
"When I was a teen, there was a woman who was 112, and she didn't look a day older than 30," he says. "Her name was Maggie and she had the prettiest red-hair that I have ever seen on a woman. I guess they just raised them like that back then."
Records show that there was a Marigarnettia Madison who resided in Winterglen, but no mention of her whereabouts or what age she was.
"The funny thing is that I could swear I just saw her in town last week," Strictlan says. "She was standing by the place she used to live looking up at the stars."
By Nelson Tad
Winterglen Weekly Staff Writer
WINTERGLEN (AP) - Fred Strictlan still drives his car to and fro, and goes out every Saturday evening for a pint or two down at the local pub.
Not bad for a 99-year-old.
Winterglen's oldest resident turns 100 on Nov 10 and will celebrate at three parties - one given by his family, one given by neighbours and another at Century Tavern, the pub he frequents.
He says that he also eats right and has a pint a day, as well as a cigar (or two).
Strictlan drives his own car. He bought his first car for $80. Right now he's lucky if he can fill a gas tank for that price.
As for reaching the 100 mark, Strictlan says it isn't such a novelty.
"When I was a teen, there was a woman who was 112, and she didn't look a day older than 30," he says. "Her name was Maggie and she had the prettiest red-hair that I have ever seen on a woman. I guess they just raised them like that back then."
Records show that there was a Marigarnettia Madison who resided in Winterglen, but no mention of her whereabouts or what age she was.
"The funny thing is that I could swear I just saw her in town last week," Strictlan says. "She was standing by the place she used to live looking up at the stars."
A Nice Little Break
They were sitting around in the upper loft area of Good Tomes, Good Tomes . It was a nice little coffee shop, with a baker's dozen sofas and chairs scattered about like a little den and books lining the walls like a library.
It gave the place a feeling of home and it's where Max, Maggie, Suki and Frank sat around when they could. Max's nose was buried in a philosophy book; he was reading Raymond M Smullyan's 'The Tao is Silent'. Maggie was lounging - she wasn't much in a reading mood - while Frank had several newspapers on the coffee table before him. Suki sat there like a bored teenage kid, waiting, so she let out a huge sigh.
"What is it, Suki?" Mags asked.
"I'm bored," Suki replied. "I thought you guys did tons of stuff?"
Frank glanced up from the newspaper; he was checking up on some stock options, and he glanced over at Mags.
Mags put down her coffee and winked at Frank.
"Well not exactly, Suki," Mags said in a big sister sort of way. "This is sort of our downtime; we take it any way possible. Because who knows when the next time we'll get a haven such as this."
20130627
Morganfokker's Revenge
1. INT. MAX CUBE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MAX sitting in the middle of the room, naked. In a yoga position, eyes closed. To his right side is a sealed envelope with MAGS written on it. To his left is a handgun.
MORGANFOKKER (voice)
You can do it. Come home. End this charade now.
CUT TO:
2. EXT. MAX CUBE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MAGGIE is leaning against Max's door. She looks like she's been crying.
CUT TO:
3. INT. MAX CUBE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MAX not moving. Still like the buddha. Brings the gun to his temple.
MORGANFOKKER (voice)
That's right, my son. End this game and come back home.
CUT TO:
4. INT. HAPPY HONG'S DINER - NIGHT
We see SUKI and GONER and FRANK sitting at a booth. SUKI is sipping a milkshake, while GONER is mowing down on a chicken fried rice combo. FRANK has a tea sitting in front of him.
SUKI
Now what do you think is going to happen?
FRANK
That depends on what Cube does next.
SUKI
You think he's going to do it?
FRANK
I truly don't know what he's capable of.
SUKI
We got to him before this version of Morganfokker did. Didn't we?
FRANK
I hope so. I truly hope so.
CUT TO:
4. EXT. MAX CUBE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MAGGIE is standing facing the doorway. The metal door to the apartment has several big dents in it. It looks like she is focusing all her might on the steel door.
Shocking Future
New Boswash, 2046
The nightclub was hot and humid, like a South African jungle before the change. Mags was sitting at a table in the upper tier, sipping on a ice tea and peering down at the crowd. She couldn't hear the pounding mesh of music due to the silence dome, but she could feel the bass on the floor. It made the people down below seem like clockworks jerking around to a unheard melody.
"There you are," a voice said.
"I'm here like you asked," Mags replied without turning around. She signaled to the hoverbot floating above the crowd that she wanted another drink. It read her signal and headed for the bar.
"You're looking youthful as ever," she said. "What's your secret?"
"I wish I knew, maybe it's a curse," Mags said with a slight laugh. She turned to face the woman who was dressed a red power suit. "Let's cut to the chase. What do you have for me this time, Lucy?"
The nightclub was hot and humid, like a South African jungle before the change. Mags was sitting at a table in the upper tier, sipping on a ice tea and peering down at the crowd. She couldn't hear the pounding mesh of music due to the silence dome, but she could feel the bass on the floor. It made the people down below seem like clockworks jerking around to a unheard melody.
"There you are," a voice said.
"I'm here like you asked," Mags replied without turning around. She signaled to the hoverbot floating above the crowd that she wanted another drink. It read her signal and headed for the bar.
"You're looking youthful as ever," she said. "What's your secret?"
"I wish I knew, maybe it's a curse," Mags said with a slight laugh. She turned to face the woman who was dressed a red power suit. "Let's cut to the chase. What do you have for me this time, Lucy?"
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