Faux News of the Moment

WINTERGLEN'S CENTURY CLUB
By Nelson Tad
Winterglen Weekly Staff Writer

WINTERGLEN (AP) - Fred Strictlan still drives his car to and fro, and goes out every Saturday evening for a pint or two down at the local pub.

Not bad for a 99-year-old. 

Winterglen's oldest resident turns 100 on Nov 10 and will celebrate at three parties - one given by his family, one given by neighbours and another at Century Tavern, the pub he frequents. 

He says that he also eats right and has a pint a day, as well as a cigar (or two).

Strictlan drives his own car. He bought his first car for $80. Right now he's lucky if he can fill a gas tank for that price.

As for reaching the 100 mark, Strictlan says it isn't such a novelty. 

"When I was a teen, there was a woman who was 112, and she didn't look a day older than 30," he says. "Her name was Maggie and she had the prettiest red-hair that I have ever seen on a woman. I guess they just raised them like that back then." 

Records show that there was a Marigarnettia Madison who resided in Winterglen, but no mention of her whereabouts or what age she was.

"The funny thing is that I could swear I just saw her in town last week," Strictlan says. "She was standing by the place she used to live looking up at the stars."

A Nice Little Break

They were sitting around in the upper loft area of Good Tomes, Good Tomes . It was a nice little coffee shop, with a baker's dozen sofas and chairs scattered about like a little den and books lining the walls like a library.

It gave the place a feeling of home and it's where Max, Maggie, Suki and Frank sat around when they could. Max's nose was buried in a philosophy book; he was reading Raymond M Smullyan's 'The Tao is Silent'. Maggie was lounging - she wasn't much in a reading mood - while Frank had several newspapers on the coffee table before him. Suki sat there like a bored teenage kid, waiting, so she let out a huge sigh.

"What is it, Suki?" Mags asked.

"I'm bored," Suki replied. "I thought you guys did tons of stuff?"

Frank glanced up from the newspaper; he was checking up on some stock options, and he glanced over at Mags.

Mags put down her coffee and winked at Frank.

"Well not exactly, Suki," Mags said in a big sister sort of way. "This is sort of our downtime; we take it any way possible. Because who knows when the next time we'll get a haven such as this."