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Faux News

Here Be A Spider
by Onina Porte

BERLIN (Rueters) - A German woman is lucky to be alive after her car crashed head on into a rockcut, police in the western town of Richlor said. The cause of the accident is still under investigation.

The 24-year-old woman was screaming and held a death grip on her steering while a rescue crew tried to get her out. The car was totally destroyed but the woman escaped with only slight injuries.

"She was screaming about a giant spider that crawled across the road," said a witness who refused to be identified. "Later on when she was calmed down she wanted to thank the man in an orange t-shirt who saved her from the spider."

"I guess he came in from the other side of the road, guns blazing," said the witness. "Though, I don't see any sign of a giant spider but it looks like this area was a war zone."