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Was I Exorsized?
by captain_entenille

Man I have had this terrible incident that had happened. And I really don't know what the heck happened to me in the first place... but let me tell you soon as I came home I had to shower.

Okay so like this girl comes up to me this afternoon and tells me that she is here to help me. And I am like you can have anything you want babe. She proceeds to tell me that there is something inside me that needs to be free. And I am like sure babe, whatever, lets get a room somewhere or we can do it in the alleyway if she wants.

Well, the she says she needs my chi for something freaky, I told her that I ain't into that kind of shit and was about to walk away and suddenly she lies her hands on my shoulder and I feel all week inside.
She calls over to her friend, Max, he steps out of the shadows and has a gun aimed for my head and man I know my day was gone to shit.
Max asks her if I'm okay. And she tells him that there is something dark at work. Whatever that means... but I guess that meant that I was going to get it one way or the other.
I tell them that I am just on my way home from doing some errands. And the girl looks into my eyes and I feel all paralyzed inside. She tells me to close my eyes and open my mouth, and there's nothing much I could do but comply.
That's when I felt like a breath of air was escaping from my lungs. She says to Max, there he is, and than whammo Max fires off his cannon. When I opened my eyes, I could see them standing there looking at me and at some brown ichor along the wall, other than the stain in my pants.
Max turns to me and says something for me to beat it. and I do.

Man there are some weird people out in the world. It's a good thing they didn't want to mug me since I had just cashed my check and was about to pay some bills.