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The Angst of Being Angst

"... and that's it for the day," the photographer said as he handed the camera to his assistant. His assistant automatically snapped the lens cap onto it like an obedient soldier.

Angst sat up on the bearskin rug as a woman approached her with a robe; she slipped into it like a second skin. She was used to the men hanging around the studio and ogling her. After all, this was her fourth and probably final shoot for the magazine. She was to the age now where she wasn't deemed youthful enough.

"Another great shoot, Angst," the photographer said. He stepped around the set and gave her a hug. "Love working with you."

She smiled a fake smile and kissed him on the cheek. "The pleasure is all mine," she told him. "You make me look good."

Angst and the woman left the stage, heading to a dressing room where she could slip into some yoga pants and a crop top. She really didn't like doing this stuff but it paid big time. Her mother and father didn't approve of what she was doing, nor did they complain since they had a new home and a car and a 60" plasma tv set in their living room.

Like she said, it paid the bills.

Her cellphone chimed in, 'Madonna's Express Yourself' was the tone. It meant her agent was on the other line.

"Angsty, baby," he said. "I've got a deal for you, they want you back for Shark Vs Werewolf II! Swing by the office and will chat more."

She wasn't even the star of the b-flick, it was Tiger Manson, who was once a big time television star, on a four-time emmy winning series and now delegated to doing b-movies. Angst realized it was her path as well, but she was never as big as Tiger and she wondered if she had missed a chance at something big in her life.

Shark vs Werewolf was her third major flick; her first flick, over a decade ago, was a bit part in the Oscar nominated The Legacy Effect starring Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Helen Mirren and Donald Sutherland. She had played Donald Sutherland's youngest granddaughter. Overall, her screen time was 13 minutes and 43 seconds.

There had been a casting call in town where the movie was being shot and she had won the role because the part was for a cheerleader; after all it was her specialty. She had competed with 2000 others. It had gotten her noticed and from there she had played frienemy "Betsy Carter" on Disney's Dragons Are People Too for four years.

She did her first Playboy photo shoot right after Dragons Are People Too ended; her agent at the time told her it was a good move and would get her more exposure in Hollywood. Though the offers from the major studios never came. There were tons of scripts for b-movies and tv movies-of-the-week but they were just t&a appearances and nothing meaty.

Angst walked across the lot to her car; she signed heavily. She wondered if maybe she should have married the quarterback and settled down to have some kids...