Faux Blog

An excerpt from someone's journal at UniversalBlogs - uniting bloggers of the world so you don't have to:
 
COMMUTER HELL
 
One thing I hate is using public transportation to get me where I need to be when I need to be there. Each time I do something strange seems to happen. My car is in the shop getting fixed, and I am trying to save money from not renting in order to get it fixed. So for the past few days I've been taking the subway in to work. Yee-fucking-haw.

Today, I was introduced to a strange site. I swear, it's a commuter rite-of-passage. Now I have heard stories about some of the strange stuff that happens in subways. Something akin to the Twilight Zone, but I shrugged them off as myths and legends. Now, I ain't too fucking sure.


I was running late, and nearly missed the subway. I noticed all the other cars jammed like sardines. But I noticed the end car that hardly had anybody in it. So, like the smart fellow that I am, I went inside. The other passengers inside consisedt of a white man in an X-men logo t-shirt which was splattered with an opaque liquid.  He was sitting across from an asian school girl and they were chatting in Chinese, I gather.

I took my seat a few seats away. That's when I noticed this strange freak standing by the front of the car. Some big ass white male dressed in a gaudy Hawaiian shirt, his arms clasped behind his back and he was staring out the window into the other cars. Like he was on sentry duty.

Why did I have to choose this car? The train zipped along the tracks stopping at the next station, which was jammed full of more commuters. I was glad to get a seat on this one... but the strange thing is that the doors never opened. And everyone crowded into the other cars. Hawaii-shirt turned and said something to the other two...

The train kept moving and stopping at each station... and it started to scare me seeing that the doors didn't open to let people in. I was about to get off at the next stop, when the Hawaiian shirt dude walked past me and shook his head no. He said something to the others and they got up and that's when I noticed the big fricken' hand-cannon the little girl had. 

I nearly crapped my pants. They pulled up to a station... a station I hadn't seen before, that shouldn't have been there. And the doors open and the guys file out into it. This station looked like old and decrepit, something you might see in that 70's movie "Warriors", but the funny thing is that's set in New York City!

X-dude lights up a cigarette, while the Hawaiian shirt guy draws a huge ass sword, and I think the little girl's arm began to glow. The doors closed and the car moved on. And I sat alone in this car until the next stop, which happened to be my stop. It's kinda hard for me to explain... 

shit.

Anyhoo, I have to cut this short, my boss just came in. He doesn't like it when we use his time for our time. I will fill in the rest later.

I so can't wait until the fall job, which will consist of a five minute walk from my own home. Until then, I'll be sure to avoid the green line.